Walking on Water

Haven’t they just stepped off solid ground, stepped out of the boat and onto the water?

I used to think that faith meant that I was sure of something intangible.

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”  Hebrews 11:1

That’s the version I memorized as a kid anyway.  I looked up a bunch of other versions of this bible verse and in all of them there is this overall sense of certainty. 

“Faith is the reality of what we hope for, the proof of what we don’t see.”

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

Interesting words when talking about faith:

Sure

Certain

Assurance

Conviction

Confidence

Evidence

Proof

Religion has made faith about certainty and assurance.  We go to church, or to god, or to the guru to find out what is true.  What is absolute.  What solid rock we can and should place our feet on. 

But is this what we are talking about when we talk about faith?  Should it be?  Doesn’t that seem sort of like an oxymoron to use the word faith and certainty in the same breath?  I mean, even though it says we cannot see the thing we are certain about, if we were certain and we had proof, why would we need faith at all?  Isn’t faith a trust in something that we have absolutely no proof or assurance or certainty about whatsoever?  Isn’t the key part in the Hebrews 11:1 verse the “do not see” part? 

The bible is full of stories of faith and none of them seem to me to be about proof or evidence, certainty or assurance.  The same chapter in Hebrews that is quoted above gives examples of faith and it seems to me that they are not about certainty at all, but about action paired with uncertainty and unknowing.   Noah builds an ark.  He had no proof or evidence about the flood.   Abram leaves his people with no real assurance of anything.  It says clearly, “even though he didn’t know where he was going.”   Sarah laughs because it is so ridiculous and of course she had no proof whatsoever that it could happen.  Moses’ mother had faith when she put him in a basket and sent him down the river, with no knowledge or certainty of where he was going or where he would end up.  

The Hebrews 11 passage about faith goes on to say, “Some were made fun of and even whipped. Some were held by chains. Some were put in prison. Some were killed with stones. Some were sawed in two. Some were killed by swords. They went around wearing the skins of sheep and goats. They were poor. They were attacked. They were treated badly. The world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains. They lived in caves. They lived in holes in the ground. All these people were praised because they had faith. But none of them received what God had promised.”

Now I know that religious folk will dismiss the last sentence by saying that this is talking about Jesus.  He was the promise.  But let’s think about that.  If Jesus were the promise, then anyone who saw Jesus would have been incapable of faith in him, because they saw him.  

This might be peripherally referencing the promise of a messiah, but it  isn’t centrally about Jesus, it’s about faith and how faith looks when it’s enacted in a person’s life.  These people are praised for their faith because they acted out something that had nothing to do with certainty, or knowing or receiving some promise in return.   

In other words, the certainty was not an intellectual certainty. It was an action. It didn’t take place in the head, it was embodied.

Faith is not a transaction that we embark upon with the universe.  It’s not about manifesting some outcome by believing in it or envisioning it.  And even though it’s an embodied thing, it’s not about doing “x” to get to a known place called heaven, or a known relationship of certainty with an undoubt-able god.

I know, I know, if we believe something is true, it is much more likely to be made true in our lives.  Like a self-fulfilling prophecy.  But again, this is not FAITH.  Faith is not proved by getting a miracle or an outcome.  Once you get the outcome, faith necessarily exits the picture. Faith is the part of the equation where we sit in unbelief, unknowing and uncertainty and still act.  And those great heroes of faith were the ones who continued in their faith even when they never manifested anything at all. 

I know a lot of folks who have taken their “faith” apart.  They have gone from being religious and feeling that they have the answers to being doubtful or even atheistic.  Many of them would say they have lost their faith, left their faith behind and so would their religious friends and family. 

But have they?

Haven’t they, for the first time actually ENTERED the realm of faith? 

Haven’t they gone from certainty to uncertainty?

Haven’t they, like Abram, just left the land they were familiar with, the land of their forefathers, the place they know and feel safe in and entered into a territory where they don’t know where they are going, what they believe, and where they have no assurances?  Haven’t they gone from living in a solid house to living “in a tent like an outsider in a strange country?”

Haven’t they just pushed their very self out into a river, in nothing more than a basket with no idea where they are going or if they will survive it? 

Haven’t they just stepped off solid ground, stepped out of the boat and onto the water?   They are existing in a realm where nothing is sure, nothing is certain.  They have no solid ground under their feet.  They are asking the questions and risking that there may be no answers.  

And when the wind and the waves cause them to be afraid and sink, their religious friends and family seldom reach out a hand like Jesus, but rather make fun of them, reject them, attack them and stone them and “saw them in two” just as the heroes of faith in Hebrews 11 were treated. 

These uncertain adventurers are “wandering in deserts and mountains and living in caves and holes in the ground.”

The religious community is not praising this kind of a journey, the journey that includes doubt and unknowing, the journey of walking on water.  This kind of faith is NOT the faith that is sought after and praised. 

We have no grace for it. We have no space for it. We recoil from it.  We want the kind of faith that gives us security, certainty and a means to receiving a promise.  A promise of blessing, a promise of a miracle, a promise of safety and security, a promise of heaven.  

That’s not faith. 


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The Anti-Christ Gospel - Lust

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What we are really aiming for here is the suppression of your sexuality

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.  But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”…  First of all, I want to emphasize that lust means a sexual thought because of course you know that sexuality is sinful and human beings aren’t supposed to think about sexual things.  And of course you also know that you should and can achieve absolute control over what thoughts run through your mind.  You haven’t mastered that yet?  Get to work!   And whatever you do, don’t let yourself be misled into thinking that lust might mean the desire to possess or overpower another person.   What we are really aiming for here is the suppression of your sexuality, not the subversion of power.

The Anti-Christ Gospel - Your Adversary

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Our justice system is one of the things that makes this country great

Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison.  Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.” But if your adversary has done you wrong, be sure to sue that motherfucker.  Our justice system is one of the things that makes this country great.

It’s not a contest

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we draw up sides and choose the side that we believe to be superior. Morally, ethically, intellectually, spiritually.

When my kids were growing up, I used to say this to them over and over:

“It’s not a contest”

If they were fighting with each other, if they were upset because some kid at school had something they didn’t have, if they weren’t the most popular or the best at something:

“It’s not a contest”

I said this to them over and over because I didn’t want them to live their lives always comparing themselves to others and hoping to figure out how to feel good in contrast to what others had or were. 

But let’s be honest, it feels impossible to exorcise this particular demon.  

I mean, our very basic evolutionary impulse tells us that it absolutely IS a contest.  There are resources out there and we want to compete to get them.   And even though the resources we compete for today may not be as tangible and survival-necessary as our predecessors, we’re still the same animals and our hard-wiring tells us it’s a contest. 

We have a primal drive to have the most resources.  The most money, the nicest house, the greatest vacations, the coolest car, the most enviable life. 

I want you to want what I have.  I want you to look at my life and think, “I want what she has” 

And when we can’t compete on that level, we might swing to the opposite extreme and work to have the least.  At least we can win at being the most frugal, the most minimalistic, the most simplistic and unattached. 

It IS a contest

We have a primal drive to be the best.  The best employee, the best mother, the best student, the best looking, the strongest, the thinnest, the smartest, the funniest, the healthiest, the most successful. 

And if not the best, then certainly better….. than someone.  So, we draw up sides and choose the side that we believe to be superior.  Morally, ethically, intellectually, spiritually. 

And… this is important … we almost always choose a side on which we think we have a chance of winning the contest. IF we are not that smart, we won’t choose the intellectual side. If we are not athletic, we won’t choose the physical side. If we are not rich and have no way to expect we will ever be so, we won’t choose the money side.

It IS a contest. 

It’s exhausting. 

Try as I might to get the contest demon out of my head.  I just cannot. 

Can you?

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The Anti-Christ Gospel - Your Gift

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God will bless you tenfold.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,”… don’t worry about it, especially if they are in the wrong.  They are probably a libtard anyway.  My judgement is on them.   It’s not your problem to solve.  Go ahead and give your tithe.  God will bless you tenfold.  He’s not concerned about your relationship with your fellow man, he’s more concerned about your money and prosperity. 

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We are all soul mates

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you are taking in the very incarnation of god

Each and every one of us are soul mates. We are all one body whether we want to acknowledge it or not. We always were. We are all tied to one another as the human organism.

And even more, tied to the entire creation as one body.  Interdependent.  Dependent on each other for our very lives.  Dependent on the water, the air, the plants and the animals. Inseperable.

We are all soul mates. 

Not only does everything we do in this life affect the body of everything else, but our interactions with one another each and every day, regardless of how casual or intimate affect one another's souls.

As you take in the body of an animal, a carrot, a river, you are taking in the very incarnation of god. You are taking the one body of which you are a part into your own body. And in doing it, you are simultaneously destroying life and creating life all at the same time.  What could be more intimate and soul-mate-ish than that?

“Take and eat – this is my body, given for you.”

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Parables for a Pandemic - The Politician


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the truth will make you free.

This parable is adapted from a facebook post by Shannon Thomas.

A Politican came to Jesus and asked him,  “Teacher, there are some who disrespect our flag and country by kneeling during the anthem.   Shouldn’t they show respect to the country? “

Jesus replied to the man and said, “I never told you to salute a flag or sing an anthem.  Never. There are many things I told you to do- like love your enemies, pray for them, and turn the other cheek, and repent and seek forgiveness too. But I never told you to salute a flag.”

The man replied, “Then teacher, how can we honor our country and promote patriotism?”

Jesus said, “ When did I tell you to honor your country and be patriotic? I told you to love the people, especially the poor. I didn’t instruct anyone to honor their country. I told you to love your neighbor.”

The man argued, “But our country is a beacon of freedom to the world!”

Jesus replied, “I told you the way to freedom is through truth. I said that if you continue in my word,  you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”

The man could not accept this teaching and asked, “What truth are you talking about?”

Jesus said, “ I desire mercy not sacrifice, go and learn what that means.”

The man became angry, “Mercy will get us nowhere. It takes sacrifice to bring freedom to the world.   What about our weapons and armories?  What about our brave soldiers who have sacrificed for freedom past and present?”

Jesus replied, “When did I tell you to build bombs and arm soldiers and wage war in order to be free? I never told you that. I said just the opposite. I told you to love your neighbor and your enemy and to pursue mercy not sacrifice...none of that included flags or armies and soldiers and killing. None of it.”

The man was incredulous, “None?”

Jesus said, “None of it.”

The man went away sad because this was a very impractical political policy. 

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The Anti-Christ Gospel - Anger

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You aren’t answerable to anyone.

Anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment.”… Except on social media.  You can get as rude and abusive as you want there.  Name calling and put downs are totally fine.   It’s OK to say to your brother or sister, ‘Raca.’  You aren’t answerable to anyone.   And if you say, ‘You fool’ don’t worry about it. 

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Happiness is a tyrant

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Can’t we just be and feel whatever we feel without feeling as though we’ve failed at life, without feeling like someone else has failed us?

A friend and I were talking about marriage the other day. She’s been married a long time and I’ve been married twice, so we felt like between the two of us, we had some knowledge on the matter. We were talking the other day about the pressure that is put on newlyweds to be “happy” in their new marriages.

I mean of course! Why wouldn’t you be happy? Your marriage is new, it’s exciting, it’s romantic, you are young and haven’t settled down to child-raising yet. What could be better?   

But, let’s face it, the early years of marriage are tough.  It’s tough to live with another person.  Your habits are different, your wants and desires are different. 

No one tells us how hard it’s going to be to live with another person.  We grow up hearing fairy stories about happily ever after and we think being a newlywed is synonymous with happiness.

No matter how much we love the person we live with, we hate how they leave the peanut butter on the spoon in the sink, how they leave the ice cube tray empty, how they smell sometimes, or weird noises they make.  We keep score: I’m doing more housework than you, I’m making more money than you, I’m contributing more to this relationship than you. 

Newlyweds don’t want to admit to anyone and especially not to their new spouse that they might be unhappy.  But that very admission, might actually be the best possible thing. It doesn’t mean they’ve failed. It doesn’t mean I’ve failed. But it’s an important thing to admit.

None of us wants to admit if or when we are unhappy.  We think that if we are unhappy there is something terribly wrong with us or with our lives.   We are afraid of being unhappy. Afraid it might mean failure, afraid it might mean loss, afraid it might mean pain.

And certainly, there may be times when we decide that we are unhappy with something or someone and it’s time for a change. But the difference there is that the unhappiness is about an actual circumstance and not about who we ARE. It’s not about success or failure, it’s about whether or not this or that particular ongoing circumstance aligns with what I want out of life. And even then, let’s be clear, even when we get what we want out of life, we may not feel a feeling of happiness. Maybe we will feel a sense of satisfaction, or achievement, maybe we will have more peace and less stress. But happiness? It’s elusive.

We are constantly inundated with the message that we just should BE happy. Bookstores are full of books that tell us how to be happy. Social media feeds are full of quotes and quips about how to find happiness. Gurus are telling us how to manifest happiness.

And in the frantic pursuit of happiness…. Happiness becomes a tyrant.  

I don’t think that happiness should be the goal.

Why can’t it just be OK to be unhappy?  What would be wrong with that? 

Happiness comes and goes.  We are happy as we leave work and head home. Then, we are unhappy when we get home from work and do two hours of housework while our husbands and children sit and watch Netflix.  We are happy when we anticipate starting that new Netflix series we’ve been wanting to watch. We are unhappy if we come home from work and sit and watch Netflix with our husbands and children and wake up to a filthy house the next day.   We are happy when the people we live with offer to chip in and help out.  We are unhappy afterward because of the bad attitude they had throughout and the poor quality of help they contributed.

Happiness comes

Happiness goes.

Unhappiness is inevitable.

It seems to me that when we stop trying to BE happy, we are much happier.  I mean, really – who cares?  Do we HAVE To be happy?  It seems like a lot of pressure to me. 

Can’t we just be up sometimes and down sometimes without having to try to achieve happiness?

Why the constant wish to feel something else than what we actually feel?

Can’t we just be and feel whatever we feel without feeling as though we’ve failed at life, without feeling like someone else has failed us?

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The Anti-Christ Gospel - Murder

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I am very pro-life and anti-murder, except in situations where I’m not

 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 

I tell you that this is true,  I am very pro-life and anti-murder, except in situations where I’m not – like just wars, capital punishment and all those times in the Bible where I instructed the Israelites to kill innocent children.  I’m also fine with the police killing people whether they have proven their innocence or not, that’s OK.   Oh, and the crucifixion of my son on your behalf.  I wasn’t pro-life there either.  

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